Apr 11

Skipping school isn’t a crime, it’s an infraction. They’re totally different.

Marcus Yallow

Apr 7

Do office workers really spend (8 - their intelligence bonus) hours sitting in swivel chairs and talking about the weather?

Apr 6

Eri, lord of the rock, conquerer of all things granite sits snarkily upon his uncomfortable throne.

Eri, lord of the rock, conquerer of all things granite sits snarkily upon his uncomfortable throne.

Apr 5

riddlemehiddleston:

things that say a lot about a person

  • their favourite character
  • the lyrics they write on their hands
  • the colours they wear
  • which murder weapon they prefer
  • how they make their tea

Apr 4

Try telling me you wouldn’t watch this sitcom.

- x

Mar 30

If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

Ancient Chinese Proverb

Mar 26

allamysbelonginthetardis:

Is english the international language of tumblr or is there a section of tumblr we don’t know about which passionately blogs in russian or something

Я не знаю, о чем ты. Мы слишком заняты подготовкой к ядерной войне с Америкой для рассмотрения таких мелочей.

shslequius:

"Maybe if you go to bed you’ll feel better in the morning" is literally just the human version of "Have you tried turning it off and back on again?"

Humans have an on/off switch? Why didn’t anyone tell me this sooner?

*sighs*

I’ve spent all this time murdering people when I could’ve just turned them off. Do you have any idea what a time saver this would’ve been?

Mar 25

skrelp:

why all these fucking dipshits wearing shorts in 20 degree weather

Because

image

bitches, we have it.

Mar 23

fuelrodnz:

folkendefanel:

I’m staring at an old woman wearing a wooden backpack bigger than she is. It has a lantern hanging off the side and a compartment for a goat.

Goat products or products for carrying goats?

I’ll give you a hint: It’s small, hoofy, and has a beard.

One Wing Angel

One Wing Angel

Awesome at Life,
Horrible at Spelling,
Still Emo on the Inside...
And Dancing Wildly To ABBA with ikkle Ole' Azy-Cat.